May 2014 Birchbox Review

I've been a longtime lover of the beauty box trend, spanning from the now defunct 'shesaysbeauty' to the eternally glorious 'glossybox'. Let's face it, who couldn't do with a beautifully wrapped mid-month present full of pint sized surprises?
I've only subscribed to birchbox for about 6 months and despite my cynicism towards it at the start, this months Harper's Bazaar collaboration has truly got me on side.

The box itself was so incredibly adorable that I almost didn't even care that this months theme was 'The Great Outdoors'... something which I generally try to avoid at all costs.

Anyway, here's a run down of my thoughts on this months products!


Benefit 'they're real!' Mascara - (RRP £19.50)
 

 

I'm just going to say it: I adore Benefit products. Almost to the point where I don't care that I'd have take out a loan and sell one of my kidneys on the black market just to afford them on a regular basis. I have to admit that I already own this product; a slightly tipsy online shopping spree convinced me it was worth the price. On the plus side this sample might delay me ordering another, looking at my bank account and crying uncontrollably for another month or so.
Price aside, it's a fantastic product. It really does make your lashes look as luscious as Elizabeth Taylor's. Anything which stops me having to awkwardly fumble with false lashes, usually resulting in the plunging my tweezers into my eyeball, is a-ok with me.


Soigné Nail Lacquer in 'Creme au Beurre' - (RRP £11)

If a week ago somebody had told me they were going to send me a product the colour of butter cream I'd probably have told them not to bother and to send me an actual vat of butter cream to scoff my way through instead. But in the spirit of open-mindedness, and of not giving myself a heart attack, I decided not to let my preference towards food effect my opinion of the product.
In all, I was quite impressed. The brush was wide which made it easy to apply, a real bonus for somebody like me who usually ends up painting their entire finger instead of just the nail. While colour was understated it had a beautiful finish to it.

Liz Earle Beauty Co Cleanse & Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser - (RRP £13.25)

I've heard so much about this product that I was expecting to use it and emerge looking as flawless as Beyoncé. This, unsurprisingly, didn't happen. The product smelled nice and came with an adorable little cloth but honestly didn't do any wonders for my skin. I'm sure I'll use it, but I doubt I'll be rushing out to buy it once it runs out.

Beauty Protector 'Protect & Shampoo' & 'Protect & Condition' - (RRP £14 each)

I had high hopes before using this product, already owning the 'Protect & Oil' from the same range. I'm glad to say that it didn't disappoint. Not only did it smell so amazing that I sniffed it more obsessively than Kate Moss sniffed coke during her Pete Doherty phase, but it left my hair feeling incredible. Would I pay £14 each for them in future? Yes... to my own surprise I probably would.

Aromatherapy Associates Bath & Shower Oil - (RRP £39)

I'm going to be brutally honest: While it undeniably smells divine I can't help but feel that if I paid £39 for a bath oil I'd expect a it to morph into Shakira and give me a private concert at the end of my tub. It's a good product but with a price tag like that I don't think I can afford to let myself love it.


In all I really loved the May box and it was definitely worth the £10+PP subscription fee. My only fear is whether or not birchbox can keep this standard of box up over the next few months.

SEXY SANTA?

Okay, I admit it. I don’t buy into the Christmas hype. Sure, it’s not really that uncommon to tut loudly at Christmas cards being sold in September or to internally judge that one family who keeps their decorations up for two months straight. I think we all know that by dragging the season out to span over months and months we take away that magical feeling. But I think my skepticism lies deeper than that.

Not everybody is going to like what I’m about to say but I’m just going to say it anyway- when did it become about half naked women prancing about in Santa bikinis dancing to ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ by Mariah Carey? Maybe it's just me but you have to be pretty fucked up to try and sexualize a holiday which is basically about morality, about hope, about generosity and about God. Besides which, what on earth is sexy about an old fat man with a beard who sneaks into people’s homes? I love Santa as much as the next person but he’s a jolly fat man with rosy cheeks and a big belly (and who can blame him, we Brits supply the sherry and 50 states worth of cookies definitely equals a lifetime on the hips).

But who was the genius who saw him in all his bearded glory and thought ‘hey, can you imagine how hot it would be if chicks dressed up to look like him’. Who thought that a holiday as pure as Christmas, and a figure filled with as much childlike wonder as Santa Claus, needed to be added to the uncomfortably long list of things we sexualize in society.

Whoever they are, I’m guessing they had some really fat, bearded daddy issues.

 

All the time is Mean Girls time.